Tag Archives: Relationship

Politics and Relationship

4 out of 10 people say they don’t have a single close friend who’s political views were different than their own

That is what I think I heard on the radio this morning. Which cannot be a good thing, I thought to myself. And then I reminded myself that I am one of the 6. I have a friend who’s political views are polar opposite of mine and I can honestly say that I consider him one of my very close friend.

But that brought up some other interesting thoughts.

– manzoor

Secret vs Private

While they seem to be very similar, they really aren’t. “Private” tends to be more things / beliefs / thoughts that we keep to ourselves without any other motives than for wanting to not share them. “Secret” on the other hand have a stronger (negative or otherwise) connotation.

Personal Space

Keeping something private might have to do with protecting our “personal space”.

– manzoor

Arranged Marriage

I suppose all marriages are “arranged” in some fashion, but I am thinking of arranged marriages that happen in the culture I come from – Bangladeshi. As I write this sentence, I realize this actually makes no sense what so ever- because there really is no one specific definition of this kind of marriages I am thinking. I guess the best way to think about the marriages I am thinking of would be marriages where:

  • the bride and the groom are introduced by their extended, or close, family or family friend
  • they get to know each other, initially very formally, but later they do get to meet a bit more informally but there is a kind of unwritten boundary that neither is supposed to cross
  • also, and this is probably the most important part, they are both getting to know each other with the complete understanding and expectation that if things go well this will end in marriage and the sooner they can decide to progress, or not, the better.

The bride / groom of these types of marriages might have had been in relationship(s) prior to this meetup, but they didn’t work out for what ever reason, or maybe they never were in any relationship. Meaning that this is the first time they both, or at least one of them, are negotiating a relationship unlike any they have ever had before. Neither really knows what is expected of them, or what they expect of the other.

– manzoor

Friendship

Friendship is a relationship between 2, or more, individuals that is more than just that of being acquaintance. The “more” is of course relative and unique. While we all experience many friendships over our lifetime, we most often fail to realize, recognize or appreciate these friendships or the friends.

I consider myself to be very, very fortunate to have had experienced several friendships over the years. One of the strongest of these were one that I formed just before my teens. While the bond may not be as strong at this very moment, but that is more a reflection of life having taken us in different paths.

– manzoor

Men and Friendship

Heard the radio program as I was heading to work after dropping my daughter. Off the bat I had a few questions:

  • Is this phenomenon unique to America / Western World
  • Is this a new development. I.e, was this not a issue 10 / 50 / 100 years ago?
  • Is the assumption that the friendship has to be between men?

– manzoor

Breakup

It was a weird day. I heard of 2 of my friends ending their relationship.

Earlier in the morning a friend from work mentioned that the relationship she had with for the last 5 years had ended. And later in the evneing I ran into one of my daughters’ friend’s parent who is going thru a divorce ending a 20 year marriage.

My friend from work, who had been in her relationship for 5 years but not married or engaged, mentioned that she knew that they had grown more and more apart but she was still together because the co-dependency was comfortable. Whereas my daughter’s friend’s mother, who had been married for 20 years, said that her husband was cheating and they were working on it and he did it again. Ending the relatioship (they are still in the process of their divorce) was more a relief for her and her children and they were more able to move forward.

– manzoor