Monthly Archives: January 2019

Arranged Marriage

I suppose all marriages are “arranged” in some fashion, but I am thinking of arranged marriages that happen in the culture I come from – Bangladeshi. As I write this sentence, I realize this actually makes no sense what so ever- because there really is no one specific definition of this kind of marriages I am thinking. I guess the best way to think about the marriages I am thinking of would be marriages where:

  • the bride and the groom are introduced by their extended, or close, family or family friend
  • they get to know each other, initially very formally, but later they do get to meet a bit more informally but there is a kind of unwritten boundary that neither is supposed to cross
  • also, and this is probably the most important part, they are both getting to know each other with the complete understanding and expectation that if things go well this will end in marriage and the sooner they can decide to progress, or not, the better.

The bride / groom of these types of marriages might have had been in relationship(s) prior to this meetup, but they didn’t work out for what ever reason, or maybe they never were in any relationship. Meaning that this is the first time they both, or at least one of them, are negotiating a relationship unlike any they have ever had before. Neither really knows what is expected of them, or what they expect of the other.

– manzoor