There are times in life when you have to re-act, but if we can keep that to a minimum and try to be pro-active more it puts us in more of a position of control. Which does not mean necessarily a need to be “controlling” of things but more taking ownership and responsibility. When we don’t take ownership / responsibility it becomes easier for us to put the blame on someone / something else.
I never heard the actual program and was not quite able to find it. But over the last few days they were talking about this 2nd (maybe 3rd) grade teacher planning a eulogy for “can’t”.
When you say you can’t, you are actually giving up.
I thought that was an excellent perspective. Of course we can’t say “yes” to everything – there simply isn’t the time available to do it all.
Recently I saw a couple of video posts of Will Smith. I was not really searching or anything but I believe they showed up on my FB and / or Twitter feeds.
The first of these posts had to do with his confession to his wife that he could not be responsible for her happiness, nor she for his.
I am not simply writing this post to re-share or talk about Will Smith’s beautiful posts but more as a reminder that I have written on these specific topics and hoping that I will revisit those and maybe edit enhance the.
As a parent I find myself struggling with the idea of raising my children. OK, “struggling” might be a bit to hard – I find myself asking “am I doing it right?” Of course, I don’t even know what right is. I do try to talk to other’s but often end up arguing with people who are so sure of their methods that I find it difficult to actually have a conversation. the best conversation I have are with people who are open to other thoughts / ideas / possibilities. This is not just limited to conversation about raising children but conversations about almost any topic.
Anyway, a friend of mine once mentioned a couple of things that really stuck with me and I wanted to be sure to capture them before I forget. His first comment was:
Raising your children has 3 stages.
- Age 1-4 foundation
- Age 5-12 discipline instilling
- Age 12-18 consulting
He also mentioned that he had 3 goals in raising his children.
- That they (his kids) have their own authentic friendship with God
- That they treat others with respect and compassion
- That they really enjoy their own existence.
Say and Do.
If I seem to contradict in what I do and say it is possibly because I am saying what I think I ought to be doing but for some reason am not able to do it myself. That is my failure. Don’t use my failure as an excuse to better for yourself.
Most things in life must be earned. We don’t realize this, at least not early enough in life. Sure, we know that the material things costs money, but it takes most of us a while to understand the concept of having to work to earn money.
What is even more of a challenge is the understanding that non-material things in life also has to be earned. Things like – trust and respect, love and admiration, friendship.
That they must be earned is also what makes them worth earning. The harder you have to work at it the more they are worth. And the prouder you feel at having earned them.